Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
