She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
