I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
