Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
