he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize