I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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