So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize