does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
