i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
