i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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