Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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