I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
this is an emotional support booty call
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
