wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
