Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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