It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
