She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
