I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
