under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
