Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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