Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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