Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
