whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I still have a little drunk in my system
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize