p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
