Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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