ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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