That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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