he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
