I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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