Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
