So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
