Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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