Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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