First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
