I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize