bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I party with great urgency now.
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