Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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