well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
