there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
