No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
