Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
