By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
