we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Randomize