I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
