weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
nutella sex= disaster
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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