Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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