I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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