Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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