You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
