I'm jealous of your bromance
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
