dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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