I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
