what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
