Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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