i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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