Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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