How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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