I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
