I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
