dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
