I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize