Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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