Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
