You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
