those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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