"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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