when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
