It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
