My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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