Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
