please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize