im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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