Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
They took my balls.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
