so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
