I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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