Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
